Party Pooper

Fireworks. Everybody likes to watch them. Some people like to set them off...myself included. Well, they're not allowed in the city. But, that doesn't stop people from setting them off, naturally.
Now, I'm not a hard ass and I'm not about to bust anyone's stones about it either, considering I used to set them off all the time when I was a kid, and then the big, big ones when I lived in the South.
But....some people like to complain. And people who like to complain a lot have a tendency to have a need to inform someone of what they have an issue with. Who you gonna call.....the police of course. Why not?
"Respond to XXXXX, caller stated that people are setting off fireworks."
Ok, usually by the time we get wherever, the fireworks are done. So, As I arrive in the area, I stop the car in the vicinity, park, and start writing my report as nothing is around.
Hark, those finely honed senses kick in and something is heard not far off. A "pop" and a "bang" and, oh, look at those pretty colored sparks and lights in the air. A CLUE (cop talk there). Must be fireworks.
Off I go, moving the car into an alley, peering through the thick, lush vegetation of a hedge row.
AH! Through that shrubbery....I see flame.
Through the hedges, over a damn fence, and across to 3 yards I happen upon someones back patio, in the center of which is a giant pile of expended fireworks....and good ones too, wish I got to see all of the show.
Now, as I begin to speak to the homeowner of whose patio I invited myself onto, the communications center calls me on the radio stating the the original caller about the fireworks called back to tell them that they observed me in the alley and wanted to say that I was going in the right direction.
Quite the sleuth, should have given him a job application on the way over.
Anyway, I speak to the homeowner and amateur pryotechnician and advise him that the fireworks are illegal in the city and that several (embellishment there) neighbors have called to complain.
"Ok. I wasn't aware. I wont set anymore off."
B.S. didn't know, but I'll play...."Ok, now you know. Have a good evening."
Now, while I'm finishing up with this good citizen, his neighbor is setting off bottle rockets and some small fireworks while I'm standing just one back yard away, shining my flashlight over their way.
Jack ass. But, again, I'll play.
To the next yard over, by way of a stone wall and another fence to hurtle, I make my way to a not as friendly mutant teenager.
"What are you doing?'
"Nothing."
Alright, ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer.
"The fireworks...dude."
"I'm not setting off fireworks." as I casually look at his small pile of as yet to be set off bundles of assorted pyrotechnics.
"I watched you set them off while talking to your neighbor right over there. And should I assume that those fireworks are not yours?"
"I purchased them here, so I'll set them off."
Ok, wise ass, I think as my sharpened senses pick up on the just opened, only one swallow taken from the bottle of beer sitting next to this fine citizen on the deck railing. Oh, and he looks to be all of about 18 too.
"They're not allowed in the city."
"They're just bottle rockets and some small fountains."
"They're not allowed in the city.And I thought you said that you weren't setting them off?"
"Well, I'm going to finish them off."
Ok shitbag, I'm done with you. Could I issue him a citation? Yes. It's a Summary offense, which by issuance of a citation is considered an arrest, even though it's just a citation and he doesn't go to jail or anything, just gets a notice to appear in court and if found guilty would be given a fine to pay, between $100.00 and $300.00 depending on the judge.
Do I issue a citation?
No, as I grab his freshly opened, sans one swallow, bottle of beer and proceed to pour it over what's left of his small pile of fireworks.
"Ok then. You're done for the night. Next time you will get cited. Have a good evening."

Problem solved.

"Hey, you can't do that."
"Oh? Do you have ID? How old are you?"
"Good night officer."
"Bye now."

Problem solved.